It had to happen I suppose, but a few weeks ago I finally reached the point where I'm thinkin' "y'know what? The side-effects from all the medication I'm on just aren't worth it." The slumps, the sweats, the dry-mouth, the tiredness, the sleepiness, the weight-gain, the insomnia, the aches, the shivers - I was gettin' em all, and for what? Precious little is what. So last week I sat down with my GP and began a "phased withdrawal" from my meds...
Dr Pat was pure delira that I'd 'fessed up about wanting to come off the drugs, especially the Tramadol. For whatever reasons he was really happy that we could begin weaning me off, as he put it, "that fecker." This was strong stuff coming from the normally reserved and so very correct Pat, and when he used terms like "wretched" and "bloody stuff" in the same sentence I knew this was serious.
I admit to becoming very blaisé about medication. Paracetemol? Piffle paffle. Solpedeine? Smarties. Mirapexin? Meh, nothin' to worry about...
I guess it's because I've been taking painkillers for so very many years that my attitude has been so. To me Tramadol was just another of the "take as required" pills that are supposed to act quickly and powerfully but somehow never live up to their promise. I take 400mg a day, the maximum normally prescribed, in 8x 50mg capsules as part of my "4 times daily" dose of Tramadol, Neurontin, and Paracetemol. Tramadol is an opiod, a very strong painkiller usually prescribed short-term following surgery. I've been taking that max level continuously for over 2 years. No wonder Pat was keen for me to stop.
So stop I did, complete cold turkey. And BAM! My body just said "No Way Hosé." Far from being in there with the "Smarties" category, Tramadol I painfully found out, carries a massive punch - especially when you just stop taking it...
I dug up some interesting facts about withdrawal from Tramadol, and if you click this picture you can see a list of the most common side-effects that occur when you stop taking it. The highlighted items are the ones that slammed into me like an express train.
What isn't on the list is the headaches - and oh sweet mother devine, what headaches! Real put-yer-head-in-a-vice-and-scrape-out-yer-scalp-from-the-inside kind of headaches. I sat with ice packs on my neck and on the top of my head for 3 days. Poor Jessie got no ball throwing from me for a whole weekend. Unbelievable.
So I booked an appointment with Dr Pat but after a chaotic shopping trip in town (where some langers whipped €20 outta me wallet - but that's another story!) I got badly delayed and by the time I got to Dr Pat's surgery, he'd gone home for the tea, and his locum was standing by.
When I explained to her what was going on with my Cold Turkey symptoms a curious "you're bonkers pal" smile crossed her lips, and she took a step back. When I didn't go bananas she relaxed, took my blood pressure, let out a quiet whistle, and sat back down.
"Dya know what," says she.
"No" says I.
"You're bonkers pal," says she.
And then she laid into me about goin' Cold Turkey. What was I thinkin', she wondered. Didn't I know how strong a dose I was on? Didn't I have an inklin' about the probably side effects that just stoppin' would have?
To which I answered Dunno, Yeah but, and Nah girl.
She gave me a real Doctor Look and got jiggy with the computer, changing the notes in my file, and doin' out a new prescription which included Tramadol. "You're to come off these lads nice n' easy," says she, "no muckin' about now. Drop one tablet each doseage time and see how you get on. It might be even slower than that."
Poor Dr Pat. I wonder what he thought when he read her added notes. He has assumed that, as I've been on the meds for so long (and I do know a lot about them in fairness), I must've known what I was in for when I asked to be taken off all the tablets and patches.
But twas my assumption that was wrong, I that was at fault. I should've thought more, and asked whether there'd be side effects from withdrawal. It's just that I've been taking "smarties" for so long, with so little effect, that I just presumed there'd be no real hassle coming off the pills. I presumed that the doseage wasn't near dangerous levels. And it turns out my presumptions are dead wrong. I'm taking so much medication that if you took what I take, you'd die. Just like that.
I'm a Borg outta Star Trek, and I have adapted...
So my Cold Turkey has become warmed - I'm now going Toasted Turkey. I'm taking 50mg of Tramadol now instead of 100mg each time. And after a few weeks of that, I'll drop out one dose of four, then two, then three, and finally the last one.
And once that's done, I'll start on the Amitriptyline. Then I'll tackle the Neurontin, then the Lexapro, then the Paracetemol, the Mirapexin, the Micardis and on until I'm finally ready to start lowering the doseage of the 75m/g Duragesic patches. My fingers are tightly crossed that somewhere in the mix of things there's a balance between pain control and the act of actually living.
Maybe then I'll wake up from my 3-year slumber, shake off the constant fatigue, see the world afresh and start again.
Til then I'll learn from this experience. I'll take things themselves nice n' handy, and keep my turkey nice n' warm.
Mmmmm, warm turkey... :)
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